Top Three Elizabeth Warren Indian Names

I assume you know about the hilarious case of Elizabeth Warren, Harvard Law professor and current Senate candidate, who passed herself off for years as a part-Cherokee, and therefore “minority,” professor (during the years when her career could stand some affirmative-action juicing) despite the facts that (a) she is, if possible, even whiter than I am, and (b) the only documented relationship between her ancestors and the Cherokee tribe is the fact that her great-great-great-grandfather was one of the white soldiers who helped round up the Cherokees so that they could be forced onto the Trail of Tears. Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up.

The story is funny enough in itself, but I am particularly enjoying the new internet game of trying to figure out, “What is Elizabeth Warren’s Indian name?” The top three I’ve seen so far are…

#3: Taxagawea.

#2: Sitting Bulls**t.

And the hands-down champion:

#1: Fauxcahontas.

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