I picked up my daughter Anya and my five- and two-year-old granddaughters Angelina and Elizabeth a couple of days ago; they were coming to our house to ride out the Massive Flooding Of Hurricane Patricia (one of the most anticlimactic non-apocalyptic weather events ever to fail to hit Sugar Land, as it turned out, but that’s neither here nor there). I put Eppie into her car seat as Anya put Angelina into hers, and then Anya and I got in and closed the doors. And the moment we were all inside, Angelina (who calls me “Ken” because when she was very small dyedushka was too hard to pronounce) informed me, very firmly and with great emphasis:
“Кен, в машине нельзя пукать! (Ken, v mashinye nilzya pukat!)”
Which is to say, “Granddaddy, in the car you’re not allowed to fart.”
I wish you could have seen Anya’s expression — but then, any parent of small children is familiar with that expression, as each of us has worn it himself on many an occasion. You just never know what a small child will say, or when they will say it, or whom they will say it to.
I managed to keep a straight face, and agreed with equal emphasis and solemnity, “Совсем нельзя! [Sofsyem nilzya, Absolutely not!]” And as she apparently considered the point made and the conversation over, we drove away with no further words on the subject.
Redneck Peril 